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1. Create a safe environment where you can trust and share openly without fear.
Don't interrupt, even if you need to put your hand over your mouth to stop yourself. Learn to fight fairly. No name calling. Don't make threats. Apologize when you know you should. If you're too angry to really listen, stop! Go into another room, take space for yourself, breathe, and calm down
Remember: your partner is not the enemy, you are on the same team
2. Create time for your relationship.
No matter who you are or what your work is, you need to nurture your relationship. Make sure you schedule time for the well-being of your relationship. That includes making "play dates" and also taking downtime together. Frequently create a sacred space together by shutting off all things technological and digital. Like a garden, the more you tend to your relationship, the more it will grow.
3. Don't shy away from the truth, Separate facts from the feelings.
What beliefs and nerves gets triggered in you during misunderstanding or fight to say? Ask yourself: Is there something from my past that is influencing how I'm seeing the situation now? Ask critical question from within : Is this about him or her, or is it really about me? What's the real truth?
Once you're able to differentiate facts from feelings and figure out the truth, you'll see your partner more clearly and be able to resolve conflicts from clarity.
4.Think it through with the different parts of yourself i.e mind and heart
Each of us is not a solo instrument. We're more like a choir or an orchestra with several voices. What is your heart saying? What is your mind saying? What is your body saying? What is your "gut" saying?
For instance: My mind is saying " leave her ," but my heart says "I really love her."
Letting your mind and heart speak to another. This will help you will find answers.
5. Develop kindness and compassion for your partner
Practice observing yourself and your partner without judging. Part of you might judge, but you don't have to identify with it. Judging closes a door. The opposite of judging is compassion. When you are compassionate, you are open, connected, and more available to dialoguing respectfully with your partner. As you increasingly learn to see your partner compassionately, you will have more power to choose your response rather than just reacting.
6. Create a "we" a sense of belonging with your partner rather than "I", "Me", "Myself"
The foundation for a thriving, growing, mutually supportive relationship is being separate, yet connected. In co-dependent relationship, each person sacrifices part of him or herself — compromising the relationship as a whole. When you are separate and connected, each individual "I" contributes to creating a "we" that is stronger than the sum of its parts. you call yourselves "partner" because part of both of you becomes one.
7. Partner, heal thyself.
Don't expect your partner to fill your emotional holes, and don't try to fill theirs. Ultimately, each of us can only heal ourselves. Your partner, however, can support the journey as you work with yourself, and vice versa. In fact, living in a loving relationship is healing in and of itself.
8. Value the differences between you.
The differences between you and your partner are not negatives even with incompatibilities. You don't need a relationship with someone who shares all of your interests and views. We may sometimes fear that these differences are incompatibilities, but in fact, they're often what keeps a relationship exciting and full of good fire. They seem to be complementary.
9. Make time for your relationship.
No matter who you are or what your work is, you need to nurture your relationship. Make sure you schedule time for the well-being of your relationship. That includes making "play dates" and also taking downtime together. Frequently create a sacred space together by shutting off all things technological and digital. Like a garden, the more you tend to your relationship, the more it will grow.
10.Ask questions
All too often, we make up our own stories or interpretations about what our partners' behavior means. For example: "She doesn't call me like She/He use to; she must have love me nomore." We can never err on the side of asking too many questions, and then listen to the answers from your whole self-heart, gut, mind and body. Equally important is to hear what's not being said - the facts and feeling that you sense might be unspoken.
Be kind to yourselves. Remember: these are practical guide to strengthen your relationship hope it helps...
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